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Humour

2020 as Told in Memes

Georgia PPPN

With 2021 fast approaching, it’s probably fair to say that 2020 as a whole has been pretty sh*t for most of us. And yet, there has always been one guiding light at the end of the tunnel, one small crumb of comfort to cling onto. Good old British humour.

Yes, as we celebrate dodging an awkward Christmas with the in-laws thanks to lockdown, and commiserate having to watch endless repeats of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, it’s time to take a look back at the year in really the only appropriate format: by the medium of meme, we hereby summarise the sh*t storm of 2020...

 

January

 

A pretty standard January in the UK. Wet, cold and windy. The Royal freeloaders Prince Harry and Megan publicly announced they were stepping down. That wasn’t the only big departure: we officially announced we’d leave the EU. Brexit: Season 2 now on Netflix. 

Around the world, Australia was ravaged by bushfires. Donnie T decided to try and wage war with Iran via drone strikes. Basketball legend Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash. 

Oh, and the World Health Organisation were officially informed of a new virus coming out of China, 2019-nCoV - what we all now know as love as Coronavirus.

 

February

 

 

David Fart’s back in the headlines again, surprise surprise. This time, he’s acquitted on his articles of impeachment. By the Republican-controlled senate. Who’d have thunk it.

The WHO - no, not Roger Daltrey’s one - officially calls that pesky virus COVID-19. Wonder if we’ll hear anymore about that…

Otherwise, February was pretty quiet, or as better described - the calm before the storm. 

 

March

So, that virus? Plague is once again sweeping through Europe. Italy - locked down. France - locked down. Spain - locked down. 

Hey, remember the Olympics? Lol, not anymore you don’t. Cancelled. Premier League football? Good one. Pretty much any kind of group activity or outdoor activity? Nu-uh. Get inside. 

Lockdown begins and we all start to go mad. Everyone Googles the word ‘furlough’ and finds out that Zoom is not some b-movie superhero flick.

 

April

 

A dark day for contractors indeed, we’re told we can’t go outside and work on site. If you can work from home though, well that’s totally fine. If you get the plague, just rub an onion poultice on your nether-regions and hop on one foot. That’s how it works right? 

We’re all still in lockdown as Easter passes and the shortage of eggs means we can’t even stuff our face with cheap leftovers for the weeks to come.

 

May

 

So, about those projects you were mid-way through. Turns out you aren’t getting for them. Somewhere, the sound of a tin can being kicked down the road is faintly heard as furlough is extended again.

Everyone has high anxiety. England has the highest death toll in Europe from that virus. But hey, we’ve got a new catchy buzzword-filled slogan to parrot out on television! Dominic Cummings tries and fails to defend being a c*ckwomble. Although this could apply every single month really. 

Big protests in the USA and actually the world over in response to the murder of George Floyd.

The heroic Captain Tom Moore is recommended to be knighted for his NHS Fundraising efforts.

 

June

 

Bizarrely, everyone has now taken up DIY as their favourite hobby. Or rather, the only hobby besides walking around the local park. Some brave souls took up running at the start of lockdown promising to use it as a ‘way to get fit’. They’re currently rejoicing over the fact that Deliveroo is still in operation. 

Non-essential retail opens again, as does public transport. Everyone has to wear masks, but not cool ones. Rather than the Bane, they look more like wannabe cowboy bandanas. Yee-haw. 

We’ve gone from 2 metre distance to 1 metre distance too. Progress indeed! Oh, and schools re-open, so little sproggs are finally out the house again! Huzzah!

 

July

 

 

We’re back on site! And there is an announcement that Oxford University - those clever bods - are working on a vaccine.

It’s hot. 37.8 degrees in London and so everyone flocks to the beach, a sensible decision in the middle of the pandemic. Can’t see any issues there.

People slowly start trickling back to work and reflect on their 3 months of furlough binge-watching Tiger King.

 

August

 

Sites are back to being productive! You get such genius innovation as above from the new people who’ve decided to become a contractor after being made redundant. Welcome aboard!

There's a new leader for the Liberal Democrats - the party last relevant about 10 years ago. Education is a f*cking shambles with exam results and we’re all moaning about warm weather. The UK is healing.

 

September

 

 

The R number has gone up again. Turns out, a bunch of us all returning to work together and going off to the beach together may not have actually been very smart-smart at all. 

There’s new buzzwords too. Rule of 6. COVID Tier Threat Level. WFH is back on the agenda again, meaning contractors have to face up to the reality of actually organising things properly. 

And after a brief hiatus, Brexit: Season 2 returns with a bang. 

 

October

 

It’s spooky season. 1 million people a week are estimated to have COVID-19. Happy Halloween. 

BoJo the Clown does another televised address to the Nation and you guessed it - we’re back in lockdown!

Special mention to Lewis Hamilton for matching Michael Schumacher’s Formula 1 record. It’s amazing what you can achieve when your car is so much better than everyone else’s. 

 

November

 

Our friends in the US become briefly relevant again as cheeky wotsit Danny Gass-Pass is voted out in favour of a man who is closer to White Suit than White House. And we thought our elections were bad (they still are).

The COVID vaccine scientists announce a breakthrough - winner! But it needs to be kept at temperatures colder than your ex. 

And stupidly, plans for Christmas bubbles are announced.

 

December

 

 

We only have one thing to say really: tier 4. Merry bloody Christmas! Remember all those Christmas plans you made? Lol, good one.

 

What will 2021 hold for us? Given the current year, an awful lot more nonsense we expect, including another lockdown, light at the end of the tunnel in the way of a vaccine, and more Brexit chaos. 

Some things are certain, though - we'll get through it together, things will change for the better, and Darren still won’t be doing any work, 

From everyone at The Contractor, have a fantastic Christmas and New Year and remember, Stay Awake, Protect your Pigs in Blankets and Eat Mince Pies.

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